ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
