It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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