you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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