even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
