i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
