meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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