Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
