did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
