check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
