Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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