Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize