thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
