A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
