My first STD was from a foam party
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she peed on how many people?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
