a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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