Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
