I'm going to jail i love you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
