Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
