Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
