I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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