you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
