I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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