so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You can't just leave with hair like that
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
