this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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