im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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