I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
