He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How's work?
Spinning.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize