We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
