Redeem this text for a blowjob
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize