How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize