Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
