i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
