I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
