is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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