why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
