The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
