I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
