Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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