So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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