You're completely useless in the revolution.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
