I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize