my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
