I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
