You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
