Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
