David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
