im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
