So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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