So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
