did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
