I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
