We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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