no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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