don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize