ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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