we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
