every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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