Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
