i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize