Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
