if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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