Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
