It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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