I just made out with a guy for $7.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A+ Viking dick
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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