my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
