he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
