hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
