he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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