To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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