Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Text me some of your sweat
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
