I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
