She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
