And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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