apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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