The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
