quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
