she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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